by Jon:
Matt has hired me to be email liaison. Whether or not the email will be used for actual questions or as a spam dumpster (coughcoughMarkcoughbastardcough) is up to you.
that said I give you c-stumpers@gmx.com. We'll be recording again soon folks so keep ears tuned and eyes opened.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Main Stream Producers and Filmmakers Change Strategies
by Jon:
LOS ANGELES - Hollywood has decided to change its strategy to disenfranchise America's younger population. A current trend in movies, as many casual and critical film goers know, has been live action reboots and reinterpretations of familiar and well loved pop culture icons such as The Transformers and GI:Joe. Though monetary gain from these franchises has been great, Hollywood producers and studio executives feel "unfulfilled" as one source, a producer who has demanded to remain anonymous, has claimed. The source went on to say, "The problem with the 21-30 demographic, the kids who remember and care about these franchises, is by the time the average American is eighteen or twenty, he or she has most likely graduated High School and/or college and is already jaded and disenfranchised with the world. As businessmen, we need to start the process at a younger age, we need to start showing younger kids that the world is a harsh place but there is nothing they can do about it. That early complacency is key to future economic stability."
The most recent film to capitalize on this idea has been M. Night Shyamalan's The Last Airbender a live action remake of the now famous cartoon Avatar:The Last Airbender which aired on Nickelodeon from 2005 to 2008. With its balance of dense narrative, darker themes, rich character development, martial arts action, and comedy, the cartoon has received high praise from critics, parents, and children alike and quickly became one of Nickelodeon, and it's parent company Viacom's, most successful franchises to date.
"[Avatar]has made us a ton of money in merchandise and viewership." said a representative from Viacom, "The problem was the show was too good. It blurred the lines of good and evil, black and white, and just made kids think too much. We received calls and emails from teachers and parents complaining that their children and students started asking too many questions. Take this scenario for instance. A third grade teacher in Arkansas wrote us an email in 2006 complaining that her student, an avid fan of Avatar:The Last Airbender, started questioning Columbus's discovery of America. He equated the idea of the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Marina landing in the West Indes to an early episode of the show where Prince Zuko and a Fire Nation ship land on the shores of the Southern Water Tribe demanding the tribe bring him the Avatar. In that first season Zuko is the main bad guy! We can't have our children thinking Columbus was a bad guy. That would undermine the very fabric of this country. Imagine what that student thought, a couple years later, when he saw Zuko become a good guy. He must have been so confused. The gray areas in this series are catastrophic to the fragile psyche of the American Youth. That's where M. Night came in."
M. Night Shyamalan has admitted in interviews to be a fan of Avatar: The Last Airbender because his children, also avid fans, watched the show religiously. Though Shyamalan has seen success with his movies and was nominated for Best Original Screenplay for his 1999 film The Sixth Sense his later and most recent works have often been ridiculed by movie goers and critics. The Viacom representative said this "When we heard Shemelon was a fan of the show, it was like a gigantic weight lifted off our shoulders. "Let's have HIM make a movie out of it! Surely if anyone can screw this franchise up it's him." I heard one of the execs say at one of quarterly meetings. On a slightly related note, that same exec just watched Lady in the Water the night prior. So we pushed Bryan [Konietzko] and Michael [DiMartino], the creators, to let Shamalama make the movie and the rest is history. We didn't need to do anything, we just let M. Night have full control and we knew it would be just what the doctor ordered.
Four years later The Last Airbender has hit theaters with much criticism. Critics such as Robert Ebert are already calling it "an agonizing experience in every category I can think of and others still waiting to be invented." While still others say "it is a new low for Shyamalan."
"We know its crap, plain and simple, but we also know that these kids we're trying to set right are going to make their parents buy tickets and give us money so it's a win-win situation no matter how poor the movie is." said the Viacom representative.
How does it fit into Hollywood's new plan though? To find out just how effective this new direction is in creating apathy and complacency in younger children, Paramount Pictures, the studio who released this movie and another subsidiary of Viacom interviewed parents and children after a surprise, early screening of The Last Airbender at the Bridge Theater in Shyamalan's home city of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. A parent who took her child to the screening was quoted in saying "I don't understand it, my seven year old son was so energetic and happy to see this movie, now he's just confused and sad. It's like he's a whole other person." Another parent said "My ten year old daughter just loves the character of Katara [one of the protagonists in the show and movie], she thinks she is such a strong and motherly character, always looking after Aang [the main protagonist]and the other down and out characters. She liked Katara so much that after the episode when Katara learns she has healing abilities, my girl went up to me and said "Mommy, I want to be a doctor, so I can heal and help people just like Katara does." but after the movie, her eyes were glossed over and glassy and she just stared in the middle darkness. When I asked if she wanted her doll to play doctor with, she just snatched the doll out of my hand and threw it into the street.I've never seen anything like it." One of our own reporters, also at the screening, was able to get permission to ask one of the children what they thought of the movie but all the child said was "Man alone suffers so excruciatingly in the world that he was compelled to invent laughter."
"Mission Accomplished!" said the anonymous producer from Hollywood,"This is fantastic news. We have many more movies in the works. 80s nostalgia is old hat, those kids are lost causes. It's time we set our sights to the 90s and the Aughts. I overheard a guy from Time-Warner talking about a gritty Freakazoid reboot at a Starbucks but I didn't think it would fly. "Too recent" I thought. Jokes on me, hell, Avatar:The Last Airbender is just two years old. New episodes were being made when the movie script was being written. This is a great day for all of us."
LOS ANGELES - Hollywood has decided to change its strategy to disenfranchise America's younger population. A current trend in movies, as many casual and critical film goers know, has been live action reboots and reinterpretations of familiar and well loved pop culture icons such as The Transformers and GI:Joe. Though monetary gain from these franchises has been great, Hollywood producers and studio executives feel "unfulfilled" as one source, a producer who has demanded to remain anonymous, has claimed. The source went on to say, "The problem with the 21-30 demographic, the kids who remember and care about these franchises, is by the time the average American is eighteen or twenty, he or she has most likely graduated High School and/or college and is already jaded and disenfranchised with the world. As businessmen, we need to start the process at a younger age, we need to start showing younger kids that the world is a harsh place but there is nothing they can do about it. That early complacency is key to future economic stability."
The most recent film to capitalize on this idea has been M. Night Shyamalan's The Last Airbender a live action remake of the now famous cartoon Avatar:The Last Airbender which aired on Nickelodeon from 2005 to 2008. With its balance of dense narrative, darker themes, rich character development, martial arts action, and comedy, the cartoon has received high praise from critics, parents, and children alike and quickly became one of Nickelodeon, and it's parent company Viacom's, most successful franchises to date.
"[Avatar]has made us a ton of money in merchandise and viewership." said a representative from Viacom, "The problem was the show was too good. It blurred the lines of good and evil, black and white, and just made kids think too much. We received calls and emails from teachers and parents complaining that their children and students started asking too many questions. Take this scenario for instance. A third grade teacher in Arkansas wrote us an email in 2006 complaining that her student, an avid fan of Avatar:The Last Airbender, started questioning Columbus's discovery of America. He equated the idea of the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Marina landing in the West Indes to an early episode of the show where Prince Zuko and a Fire Nation ship land on the shores of the Southern Water Tribe demanding the tribe bring him the Avatar. In that first season Zuko is the main bad guy! We can't have our children thinking Columbus was a bad guy. That would undermine the very fabric of this country. Imagine what that student thought, a couple years later, when he saw Zuko become a good guy. He must have been so confused. The gray areas in this series are catastrophic to the fragile psyche of the American Youth. That's where M. Night came in."
M. Night Shyamalan has admitted in interviews to be a fan of Avatar: The Last Airbender because his children, also avid fans, watched the show religiously. Though Shyamalan has seen success with his movies and was nominated for Best Original Screenplay for his 1999 film The Sixth Sense his later and most recent works have often been ridiculed by movie goers and critics. The Viacom representative said this "When we heard Shemelon was a fan of the show, it was like a gigantic weight lifted off our shoulders. "Let's have HIM make a movie out of it! Surely if anyone can screw this franchise up it's him." I heard one of the execs say at one of quarterly meetings. On a slightly related note, that same exec just watched Lady in the Water the night prior. So we pushed Bryan [Konietzko] and Michael [DiMartino], the creators, to let Shamalama make the movie and the rest is history. We didn't need to do anything, we just let M. Night have full control and we knew it would be just what the doctor ordered.
Four years later The Last Airbender has hit theaters with much criticism. Critics such as Robert Ebert are already calling it "an agonizing experience in every category I can think of and others still waiting to be invented." While still others say "it is a new low for Shyamalan."
"We know its crap, plain and simple, but we also know that these kids we're trying to set right are going to make their parents buy tickets and give us money so it's a win-win situation no matter how poor the movie is." said the Viacom representative.
How does it fit into Hollywood's new plan though? To find out just how effective this new direction is in creating apathy and complacency in younger children, Paramount Pictures, the studio who released this movie and another subsidiary of Viacom interviewed parents and children after a surprise, early screening of The Last Airbender at the Bridge Theater in Shyamalan's home city of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. A parent who took her child to the screening was quoted in saying "I don't understand it, my seven year old son was so energetic and happy to see this movie, now he's just confused and sad. It's like he's a whole other person." Another parent said "My ten year old daughter just loves the character of Katara [one of the protagonists in the show and movie], she thinks she is such a strong and motherly character, always looking after Aang [the main protagonist]and the other down and out characters. She liked Katara so much that after the episode when Katara learns she has healing abilities, my girl went up to me and said "Mommy, I want to be a doctor, so I can heal and help people just like Katara does." but after the movie, her eyes were glossed over and glassy and she just stared in the middle darkness. When I asked if she wanted her doll to play doctor with, she just snatched the doll out of my hand and threw it into the street.I've never seen anything like it." One of our own reporters, also at the screening, was able to get permission to ask one of the children what they thought of the movie but all the child said was "Man alone suffers so excruciatingly in the world that he was compelled to invent laughter."
"Mission Accomplished!" said the anonymous producer from Hollywood,"This is fantastic news. We have many more movies in the works. 80s nostalgia is old hat, those kids are lost causes. It's time we set our sights to the 90s and the Aughts. I overheard a guy from Time-Warner talking about a gritty Freakazoid reboot at a Starbucks but I didn't think it would fly. "Too recent" I thought. Jokes on me, hell, Avatar:The Last Airbender is just two years old. New episodes were being made when the movie script was being written. This is a great day for all of us."
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Spill.com Fan Film: "Who's Your Father?"
by Jack and Matt
Another piece of cinematic wonderment by Jack and Matt, brought to you by Jack's production company Whiplash Films in collaboration with Filler Theatre, "Who's Your Father?" premieres today at the first annual (and yes, that is grammatically correct) Spill.com Film Festival at Spill-dot-Con in Austin, Republic of Texas.
Jack and Matt co-wrote the film with friend-of-the-Stump Andrew Birchenough. Jack directed, and Matt did cinematography.
The Texas Board of Education will probably try to deny its existence in another 30 years, so watch it while you can!
Disclaimer: Non-Spillios might not understand the character references.
Another piece of cinematic wonderment by Jack and Matt, brought to you by Jack's production company Whiplash Films in collaboration with Filler Theatre, "Who's Your Father?" premieres today at the first annual (and yes, that is grammatically correct) Spill.com Film Festival at Spill-dot-Con in Austin, Republic of Texas.
Jack and Matt co-wrote the film with friend-of-the-Stump Andrew Birchenough. Jack directed, and Matt did cinematography.
The Texas Board of Education will probably try to deny its existence in another 30 years, so watch it while you can!
Disclaimer: Non-Spillios might not understand the character references.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
"Jealous Jerzy" trailer is up
by Jack & Matt
Your two favorite C-Stumpers (Jon who?) collaborated several months ago on a short-format drama about a man's suspicions about his girlfriend. It's trippy and erotic, so considering our viewership is comprised of drug-addled sex maniacs, you might enjoy it.
It should be touring festivals before long, so keep an eye open. We'll be posting updates here and at whiplashfilm.com.
Your two favorite C-Stumpers (Jon who?) collaborated several months ago on a short-format drama about a man's suspicions about his girlfriend. It's trippy and erotic, so considering our viewership is comprised of drug-addled sex maniacs, you might enjoy it.
Jealous Jerzy Trailer from Jack Gattanella on Vimeo.
It should be touring festivals before long, so keep an eye open. We'll be posting updates here and at whiplashfilm.com.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Everybody Draw Mohammed Day submission
by Matt
Well, the day has finally come, and it's time to let your craft flow.
Now, if I could draw worth two shits, then I'd definitely be involved in animation. Instead I paint with light: the world is my canvas and the silver screen my gallery. Nevertheless, I'd like to make clear that my EDMD submission should in no way reflect my aptitude for graphic design. I may be unskilled, but I'm not fucking unskilled.
Let me explain my intent. I'm not at all shy about criticizing people's religious convictions, however, this is not a action I take as likely as some. Religious faith is an important character trait of those who experience it. To assault it is to play the schoolyard bully. You can't attack a person's beliefs without attacking the person, and I have no desire to alienate some of my best friends nor go out of my way to offend people who would be my allies.
Therefore, I think Everybody Draw Mohammed Day should not be about insulting anyone or alienating them. If you want to depict a religious leader in a piss-filled jar and call it art, then I want nothing to do with you. There's a difference between being critical and being a troll.
What I sought to do was show this controversy for how harmless it truly is. So I put myself in the place of my prepubescent self, discovering the worlds opening up before me by the latest technology, Microsoft Paint. I wanted to draw something innocent yet still badass. If I am murdered by an extremist over this picture, it will totally be worth it.
So there it is. Simple, sloppy, and tasteful. Fun for the whole family. If you have a submission, feel free to post it in the comments, but I request you remain civil about it.
We will not cower in fear, but we refuse to lower ourselves to the level of our aggressors.
Well, the day has finally come, and it's time to let your craft flow.
Now, if I could draw worth two shits, then I'd definitely be involved in animation. Instead I paint with light: the world is my canvas and the silver screen my gallery. Nevertheless, I'd like to make clear that my EDMD submission should in no way reflect my aptitude for graphic design. I may be unskilled, but I'm not fucking unskilled.
Let me explain my intent. I'm not at all shy about criticizing people's religious convictions, however, this is not a action I take as likely as some. Religious faith is an important character trait of those who experience it. To assault it is to play the schoolyard bully. You can't attack a person's beliefs without attacking the person, and I have no desire to alienate some of my best friends nor go out of my way to offend people who would be my allies.
Therefore, I think Everybody Draw Mohammed Day should not be about insulting anyone or alienating them. If you want to depict a religious leader in a piss-filled jar and call it art, then I want nothing to do with you. There's a difference between being critical and being a troll.
What I sought to do was show this controversy for how harmless it truly is. So I put myself in the place of my prepubescent self, discovering the worlds opening up before me by the latest technology, Microsoft Paint. I wanted to draw something innocent yet still badass. If I am murdered by an extremist over this picture, it will totally be worth it.
So there it is. Simple, sloppy, and tasteful. Fun for the whole family. If you have a submission, feel free to post it in the comments, but I request you remain civil about it.
We will not cower in fear, but we refuse to lower ourselves to the level of our aggressors.
Friday, May 7, 2010
BEAR ANNOUNCEMENT
via Matt
Though I have graduated from William Paterson University, I still receive email announcements their email announcements from time to time. Here is a recent one I'm sure you'll enjoy.
TIMELY WARNING
BEAR ANNOUNCEMENT
DEPARTMENT OF PUBLIC SAFETY
May 6, 2010
On May 6, 2010, at 7:47 a.m. University Police took a report of a small bear sighting in the woods by Hillside Hall heading towards the soccer field. New Jersey Fish and Game have been notified. We would like to remind everyone of procedures to follow involving bears. First, to decrease the likelihood of a bear being attracted to campus, everyone should properly dispose of garbage and should never leave food out for animals or birds.
Please note that bears are dangerous wild animals and female bears are extremely dangerous when they believe their cubs are at risk of being injured. Under no circumstances should you attempt to photograph or approach a bear in any way.
If you should encounter a bear at a distance, please respond to the presence of the bear in the following manner:
o Do not approach the bear.
o Make the bear aware of your presence by making noise.
o Call Campus Police (xxx-xxx-xxxx) and report the bear as soon as possible.
o If you encounter the bear at close range, please respond to the bear in the following manner:
§ Remain standing,
§ Avoid direct eye contact,
§ Back up SLOWLY,
§ Speak aloud in a calm yet assertive voice, and
§ Call Campus Police (xxx-xxx-xxxx) and report the bear as soon as possible.
§ If you are inside a vehicle and observe a bear, please remain in the vehicle, sound your horn, and contact Campus Police if possible. Keep in mind that the noise from your horn may scare the bear away but it also alerts other people to the presence of the bear.
In addition, everyone should comply with the following five rules:
1. Never follow a bear, or encourage others to form a group to follow a bear.
2. Never leave food out in the open or in your vehicle.
3. Never hike alone in the adjacent wooded areas.
4. Never provoke the bear.
5. Never feed the bear. It is illegal in New Jersey to do so.
For additional information about bears in New Jersey, please refer to the New Jersey Division of Fish and Wildlife website at: www.state.nj.us/dep/fgw/bearfacts.htm
Though I have graduated from William Paterson University, I still receive email announcements their email announcements from time to time. Here is a recent one I'm sure you'll enjoy.
TIMELY WARNING
BEAR ANNOUNCEMENT
DEPARTMENT OF PUBLIC SAFETY
May 6, 2010
On May 6, 2010, at 7:47 a.m. University Police took a report of a small bear sighting in the woods by Hillside Hall heading towards the soccer field. New Jersey Fish and Game have been notified. We would like to remind everyone of procedures to follow involving bears. First, to decrease the likelihood of a bear being attracted to campus, everyone should properly dispose of garbage and should never leave food out for animals or birds.
Please note that bears are dangerous wild animals and female bears are extremely dangerous when they believe their cubs are at risk of being injured. Under no circumstances should you attempt to photograph or approach a bear in any way.
If you should encounter a bear at a distance, please respond to the presence of the bear in the following manner:
o Do not approach the bear.
o Make the bear aware of your presence by making noise.
o Call Campus Police (xxx-xxx-xxxx) and report the bear as soon as possible.
o If you encounter the bear at close range, please respond to the bear in the following manner:
§ Remain standing,
§ Avoid direct eye contact,
§ Back up SLOWLY,
§ Speak aloud in a calm yet assertive voice, and
§ Call Campus Police (xxx-xxx-xxxx) and report the bear as soon as possible.
§ If you are inside a vehicle and observe a bear, please remain in the vehicle, sound your horn, and contact Campus Police if possible. Keep in mind that the noise from your horn may scare the bear away but it also alerts other people to the presence of the bear.
In addition, everyone should comply with the following five rules:
1. Never follow a bear, or encourage others to form a group to follow a bear.
2. Never leave food out in the open or in your vehicle.
3. Never hike alone in the adjacent wooded areas.
4. Never provoke the bear.
5. Never feed the bear. It is illegal in New Jersey to do so.
For additional information about bears in New Jersey, please refer to the New Jersey Division of Fish and Wildlife website at: www.state.nj.us/dep/fgw/bearfacts.htm
| The Colbert Report | Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c | |||
| Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - Bear Wrestling | ||||
| ||||
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
"Perfection," a short film worthy of its title
by Matt
It was strange returning to the WPU Student Film Festival last Friday. I had organized the event throughout half of my college career, and I had feared that the bulk of the talent and ambition graduated with my class. This wasn't entirely true, as many of the films were witty and entertaining, if a little rough around the edges (par for the course with student films), but many noted a significant drop in quality since previous years.
Two hours of meandering dialogue, poor sound quality, shaky camerawork, and graphic torture soured even the better elements of most of the films, and as the night neared its end, everyone seemed to have resigned themselves to disappointment. When the last film began to roll, no one suspected, even remotely, that it would redeem the entire night.
Yet within minutes our jaws dropped, we leaned forward, and trembled in anticipation for the next moment. Since when do student films look and feel like this?
"Perfection" stands as a testament to what possible with a little creativity, some ambition, a traffic flare, and massive cajones. Its otherworldly atmosphere ranks on par with The Descent, the Silent Hill games, and Andrei Tarkovsky's masterpiece Stalker. Shot entirely (without permission) at Newark's abandoned Essex County Jail, it presents an underworld of rust and grime, where sacrifices are repaid with trickery and everything is an illusion.
Now, you've probably seen films that look like this, but it gains more weight when you realize that you're not looking at a set, that the dirt and the rust were there before the film, that desperate men and wicked men lived and died there, trapped by their own desires and misfortunes. To the characters, this is nightmare and mysticism; to us, this is reality.
These are things you might consider as we follow our protagonist (unnamed, but you might already know of him) deeper into the abyss, searching for -- well, I'm not about to spoil that. What are any of us searching for? He has several visions and encounters along the way, but the real fear comes from the harsh shadows that seem dangerously close to devouring him.
The low light is a mixed blessing. With the dread of the atmosphere also comes the limits of the low-budget technology. Grain and low image resolution might distract some pickier viewers, and the brighter scenes might cross the line between juxtaposing to the darkness and simply being overexposed. I didn't mind. If anything, I felt that director Andre Rivera used the shortcomings of miniDV to his advantage. The film isn't polished, and it shouldn't be. This is a dirty film, and the cinematography reflects that.
Even if the footage does lose some of the atmosphere, however, the soundtrack adds such richness to the environment that it doesn't matter. Footsteps echo reluctantly through the corridors, serenaded by a woeful guitar and the hum of supernatural energy. You can feel the sounds leading you in deeper as the reverberations from the Inferno's center grow louder.
Andre assures me that he plans on shopping this around to festivals. I'd keep an eye out for this one, because I can't praise it highly enough. The sounds and setting envelope you, and when the film ends, you feel as though you've experienced something projected from your deepest inner fantasies. And nightmares.
It was strange returning to the WPU Student Film Festival last Friday. I had organized the event throughout half of my college career, and I had feared that the bulk of the talent and ambition graduated with my class. This wasn't entirely true, as many of the films were witty and entertaining, if a little rough around the edges (par for the course with student films), but many noted a significant drop in quality since previous years.
Two hours of meandering dialogue, poor sound quality, shaky camerawork, and graphic torture soured even the better elements of most of the films, and as the night neared its end, everyone seemed to have resigned themselves to disappointment. When the last film began to roll, no one suspected, even remotely, that it would redeem the entire night.
Yet within minutes our jaws dropped, we leaned forward, and trembled in anticipation for the next moment. Since when do student films look and feel like this?
"Perfection" stands as a testament to what possible with a little creativity, some ambition, a traffic flare, and massive cajones. Its otherworldly atmosphere ranks on par with The Descent, the Silent Hill games, and Andrei Tarkovsky's masterpiece Stalker. Shot entirely (without permission) at Newark's abandoned Essex County Jail, it presents an underworld of rust and grime, where sacrifices are repaid with trickery and everything is an illusion.
Now, you've probably seen films that look like this, but it gains more weight when you realize that you're not looking at a set, that the dirt and the rust were there before the film, that desperate men and wicked men lived and died there, trapped by their own desires and misfortunes. To the characters, this is nightmare and mysticism; to us, this is reality.
These are things you might consider as we follow our protagonist (unnamed, but you might already know of him) deeper into the abyss, searching for -- well, I'm not about to spoil that. What are any of us searching for? He has several visions and encounters along the way, but the real fear comes from the harsh shadows that seem dangerously close to devouring him.
The low light is a mixed blessing. With the dread of the atmosphere also comes the limits of the low-budget technology. Grain and low image resolution might distract some pickier viewers, and the brighter scenes might cross the line between juxtaposing to the darkness and simply being overexposed. I didn't mind. If anything, I felt that director Andre Rivera used the shortcomings of miniDV to his advantage. The film isn't polished, and it shouldn't be. This is a dirty film, and the cinematography reflects that.
Even if the footage does lose some of the atmosphere, however, the soundtrack adds such richness to the environment that it doesn't matter. Footsteps echo reluctantly through the corridors, serenaded by a woeful guitar and the hum of supernatural energy. You can feel the sounds leading you in deeper as the reverberations from the Inferno's center grow louder.
Andre assures me that he plans on shopping this around to festivals. I'd keep an eye out for this one, because I can't praise it highly enough. The sounds and setting envelope you, and when the film ends, you feel as though you've experienced something projected from your deepest inner fantasies. And nightmares.
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