Though I have graduated from William Paterson University, I still receive email announcements their email announcements from time to time. Here is a recent one I'm sure you'll enjoy.
TIMELY WARNING
BEAR ANNOUNCEMENT
DEPARTMENT OF PUBLIC SAFETY
May 6, 2010
On May 6, 2010, at 7:47 a.m. University Police took a report of a small bear sighting in the woods by Hillside Hall heading towards the soccer field. New Jersey Fish and Game have been notified. We would like to remind everyone of procedures to follow involving bears. First, to decrease the likelihood of a bear being attracted to campus, everyone should properly dispose of garbage and should never leave food out for animals or birds.
Please note that bears are dangerous wild animals and female bears are extremely dangerous when they believe their cubs are at risk of being injured. Under no circumstances should you attempt to photograph or approach a bear in any way.
If you should encounter a bear at a distance, please respond to the presence of the bear in the following manner:
o Do not approach the bear.
o Make the bear aware of your presence by making noise.
o Call Campus Police (xxx-xxx-xxxx) and report the bear as soon as possible.
o If you encounter the bear at close range, please respond to the bear in the following manner:
§ Remain standing,
§ Avoid direct eye contact,
§ Back up SLOWLY,
§ Speak aloud in a calm yet assertive voice, and
§ Call Campus Police (xxx-xxx-xxxx) and report the bear as soon as possible.
§ If you are inside a vehicle and observe a bear, please remain in the vehicle, sound your horn, and contact Campus Police if possible. Keep in mind that the noise from your horn may scare the bear away but it also alerts other people to the presence of the bear.
In addition, everyone should comply with the following five rules:
1. Never follow a bear, or encourage others to form a group to follow a bear.
2. Never leave food out in the open or in your vehicle.
3. Never hike alone in the adjacent wooded areas.
4. Never provoke the bear.
5. Never feed the bear. It is illegal in New Jersey to do so.
For additional information about bears in New Jersey, please refer to the New Jersey Division of Fish and Wildlife website at: www.state.nj.us/dep/fgw/bearfacts.htm
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I don't get it. What does any of this have to do with large gay men?
ReplyDeleteIt's illegal to feed them in New Jersey. I think you need to go to New Hampshire for that.
ReplyDelete